Friday, April 11, 2008

2008: A football odyssey

[Climatic Scene of 2008: A football odyssey]

The Hero walks into a room packed with 88 opponents. The young Hero is brave and confident and calmly proceeds to take on each opponent one by one. After he has dispatched about 40 or so men, he is still standing strong yet panting a little. However, by the time he has taken out 66 men, he is clearly tired. Unfortunately, there is no time for rest as the Hero only came by himself, leaving all his sidekicks home. Also, some of the Hero's sidekicks were still nursing their wounds from previous battles. The last 12 opponents prove to be quite tough for the hero as he is repeatedly beaten up and injured.

The Hero is knocked out and finds himself lying on the floor, almost lifeless. Just before his eyes shut, he remembers why he is fighting in the first place. He is fighting for a better future, a future where good and virtue would prevail. Images of his 19 year old son flash before his eyes, and with the speed and agility of a young boy, he gets up and knocks out the 88th person. Victory is achieved. Or so the hero thinks.

A rule for an action movie is to only celebrate when all the corpses have been confirmed terminated. One never turns their back on some half-dead opponents. As the Hero is limping away, one solitary opponent rises and delivers one final blow to the hero. The hero is knocked unconscious. The room doors open and in walks Fernaldooney, an old rival of the hero. Fernaldooney looks at the lying body of the hero and is delighted. He can finally put his rival to rest.

[Flashback]: The Hero and Fernaldooney have a long history of rivalry. In total, the two have been involved in 202 fights with Fernaldooney winning 81 and the hero claiming 76 wins. The remaining 45 fights had to be abandoned for various reasons like the arrival of police, etc. However, in the last 13 Premier fights Fernaldooney and the Hero are tied with each claiming 4 wins & the remaining 5 bouts drawn. There have been some memorable victories claimed by each rival with the Hero winning historic fights in 1998, 2002 and even in 2006/2007 while also suffering some humiliating defeats as well. Also, there was one fight in 2004 where Fernaldooney cheated and won a fight unfairly. [End Flashback]

Fernaldooney feels no threat from the Hero and is moving in for the final kick. However, the camera pans towards the ground and shows slight movement in the hero's right hand.

###@@@@@@ ##%#%#%#%# Missing Reel ##%#%#%##$###%#$######

[End. Roll credits]

Confused Audience Member #1: "What the f*** was that about?"
Audience Member #2: "Damn. That bastard Tyler Durden took the final reel home, again!"
Audience Member #1: "Who the hell is Tyler Durden?"
AM #2: "You know that guy who worked over at Fincher's Club F. on 19th and 99th"
AM #1: "Nope, no idea who he is."
AM#2: "Well he often takes reels from movies and then splices them on matinee shows on Sat and Sun."
AM#1: "So when will this reel show up?"
Audience Member #3: "I believe going by his track record, he might show it on a morning show on Sunday."
AM #2: "At this theater?"
AM #3: "No, probably at Theater D"
AM #1: "Well, hopefully the ending is worth it"
AM #2: "Yeah who knows, if things go good for the Hero, there might even be a sequel."
AM #1: "Who knows. The Hero was pretty badly bruised."
AM #2: "Yeah. But come on, who does not like a happy ending?"
Am #1: "Well, let's see what Sunday brings."

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