Monday, March 01, 2010

The Secret Society

English Football's Secret Society:

There is a secret footballing society that exists in England and whose members trace their lineage back to the old days when the game first caught on in England. Currently, the members meet once a month just on the skirts of Stonehenge when the sun goes down. Some of the current Premier League managers sit on the member’s board. Most of the conversations revolve around the current nature of the game and how the game has gone ’soft’. The members long for the old days of the game when players never shied away from a tackle, when players were willing to shed blood for their team. The meetings always end when all the members quietly look at Argentina’s goal against Serbia from the 2006 World Cup where Argentina strung together 24 passes to put the ball into the net. The members are always horrified to look at this goal and vow that their English Premier League will never become like this. They vow that they will never allow one team to manage more than a few passes before a player gets taken out. They want to preserve a 'strong' league where players can take it like a man, where players can freely break other players legs and where players always get "stuck in".

The only thorn in this member’s sight is Arsenal, the only team that defies this society's beliefs. Diaby, Eduardo and Ramsey have been victims of this society’s puppet pulls in 2006, 2008 and 2010 respectively. Other Arsenal players are constantly on the agenda as well. If Arsenal win in the face of such ugliness, then the society’s beliefs will be challenged and football in England might be saved. Otherwise if Arsenal continue to fall victim to these teams, then darkness will set in completely and English football will once again be nothing but long balls, fouling and leg breaking tackles.

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